Relationship Management

There's an old familiar saying: "A man only buys flowers when he's let you down--or he's about to." With all due respect, and I say this with the deepest solocitude for your relationship well-being...DON'T BE THAT GUY.

Now, if you aren't that guy, simply skip to the last paragraph of this blog and read on. BUT if you do happen to be of the aforementioned type, take a moment to peruse this humble offering of advice in relationship management.

There are many reasons to buy flowers--celebration, appreciation, sympathy--and of course, apology. Frequently, customers--usually men (I'm just saying)-- will come into the shop needing a grand floral band-aid for some variety bad-behavior. Usually he comes in so desperate, he'll grasp at any shred of hope I might offer. I tell him three things:

1. Breathe. You've come the right place. We're here to help. Help me, help you untangle relationship noose you've tied and hung yourself with. All is not lost. Let me walk you through it: Depending on the offense, be prepared to spend a little. I'm not saying you need to fill the apartment with roses (although that's a nice thought). Something meaningful and something lovely will do it, but spend a little more than what you think you can. This is important, remember? ...Think about how tight that knot is... Do you want her back or not?

2. Now this is key: Flowers are important, but they will only get your foot in the door. Be prepared to put your feelings into words, preferably the written word. Never underestimate the power of a well-timed note or letter. There's another old saying, "Men fall in love with what they see; women fall in love with what they hear." Women like words. It's why we cry at sappy one-liners like, "You complete me" AND "You make me wanna be a better man." Don't laugh. That's the stuff of romance. It only sounds cheesy because that's not your personal sentiment. But you've got to be that guy--THAT guy puts it all out there. THAT guy isn't afraid to express his emotions. THAT guy gets the girl. You feelin' me?

However, if you're not of the poetic persuasion, and you're not alone, fear not; a simply, well-thought out, honest, and sincere one-liner is all it takes. And believe me, long after the flowers have come and gone, she'll have that note forever.

3. Lastly and MOST importantly, now that you have used the floral-apology--don't forget this--one month from today--make sure you buy her flowers FOR NO REASON AT ALL. Seriously, this is only the first installment. Make a note, promise yourself that you will some time later buy her flowers JUST BECAUSE. If you only buy flowers when you've done something wrong, or when you're "supposed to," it diminishes their effect. And then you become the worst of all things...a cliche. sigh. Avoid this at. all. costs.

Consider the first flowers as an apology, to make up for the overdraft on your relationship account. If all goes well, you're now even. But you don't want to be even--you want some extra padding in case you mess up down the road--don't worry, it happens to the best of us. Think of it as an investment in your relationship security.

There's nothing wrong with saying "I'm sorry" with flowers. But don't forget, flowers are also a simple way of saying, "I love you....I'm thinking about you...I appreciate you..." A simple well-timed gift of flowers can help maintain a good relationship, propel a relationship in progress, or even throw a lifeline to a relationship in trouble. Think of flowers as the ultimate relationship "stimulus package."